IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people think city planners create more green spaces and plant tress. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #city #planners #spaces #plant #tress #focus #houses
On the one hand, it
is often believe
Change the verb form
is often believed
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 that creating more green spaces and growing trees in cities means higher quality.
In other words
, plants in
these zone
Change the determiner
this zone
these zones
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 freshen up the ecosystem by absorbing carbon dioxide and other toxic chemicals as well as by reducing noise pollution.
Moreover
, having plenty of green space improves the quality of life in the metropolitan areas
as for
Change preposition
by
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 providing an opportunity to be close to nature for the residents.
On the other hand
, some people think that constructing more habitats is more crucial rather than organizing natural resources when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
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 to designing towns and I agree.
That is
 to say, the housing issue is ubiquitous in urban places due to the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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of
Change preposition
apply
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population, which makes erecting residential
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 should
be prioritize
Change the verb form
be prioritized
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 by
city
Add an article
the city
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planner
Fix the agreement mistake
planners
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.
Submitted by viewvry on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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