IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
Technological advancement plays a vital role in our life. Even though
charge operated
Add a hyphen
charge-operated
show examples
 vehicles have been introduced in the market,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 is still being adhered to
run
Wrong verb form
running
show examples
 their automobiles based on petroleum or diesel. I concur with the fact that commuting via
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of natural gas should be restricted as it is leading to global warming along with the abolishment of natural resources.
To begin
 with, in
this
 contemporary world
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evolution is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heading towards
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change.
The air
Correct article usage
Air
show examples
 pollution is on a rise due to continuous emissions of gases
such
 as carbon dioxide and many more.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
this
 poisonous out poring is depleting the ozone layer of the universe.
For instance
, it leads to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various disease conditions
such
 as skin cancer or respiratory disorders like asthma and common obstructive pulmonary disease. The continuous accessibility of these assets
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 decades is leading to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 eradication. The major reason for it is overpopulation.
As due
Change preposition
Due
show examples
 to
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 explosion the demand for it is
also
 arising.Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having public transport facilities,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society still prefers to have their personal vehicles. As now a day it has become way easier to purchase it because of loan means provided by banks.Along with
globalisation
Add a comma
,globalisation
show examples
 there is a change in human attitude
also
 as they prefer their
comfort ability
Correct your spelling
comfortability
show examples
 more than reducing the time spent for them to commute by the mean of trains or buses. In a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, I believe that the method to travel via electric vehicles should be on surge rather than
relied
Wrong verb form
relying
show examples
 on gases.
Therefore
, the main concern in
this
 present era is the weather change. The ban
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the implication of
Add a hyphen
fuel-based
show examples
fuel based
Add a hyphen
fuel-based
show examples
 automobiles is of benefit as
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 aids in
decline
Add an article
the decline
a decline
show examples
 of pollution and preservation of natural assets.
Submitted by gurmanpreetk77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: