IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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It is apparent that business entities benefit the most in light of the era of industrialization.
Therefore
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,
compelling
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the compelling
a compelling
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 notion that great profits are synonymous with many substantial roles, which they have to play in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, is raised. Personally, I totally lean towards the idea
for
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of
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 2 major compelling justifications. When it comes to
social
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the social
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 responsibility of businesses, perhaps the major contribution of each entity is their financial obligation to the government
tax
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 revenue.
In other words
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, transparency in
tax
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 declaration and fulfilling
tax
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 responsibilities
is not only surge
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is not only surged
is not only surging
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 national economic prosperity but
also
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 public welfare and
subsidizes
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subsidies
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 aiming at workers
such
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 as
healthy
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health
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 insurance, maternity insurance,
unemployment
Correct word choice
and unemployment
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 insurance. In return for the obligation, business enterprises, especially the small-scale ones, can be granted various supports from
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 purse
such
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 as capital allowance,
tax
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 relief and credits for research and development,
enterprise
Correct word choice
and enterprise
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 investment
scheme
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schemes
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. What is more, maximizing profits seems to be the most practical aim of every entity;
however
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, creating and maintaining
company’s
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a company’s
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 CSR - abbreviation for
cooperate
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cooperating
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 social responsibility, is the driving force for its existence in a competitive market. Alternatively stated, if a company use a proportion of their income into many social-benefit programs and
go
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goes
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 a long way towards manifesting
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 business
ethic
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ethics
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 and social responsibilities, the company tend to draw more attention from consumers as well as arouse considerable public sympathy.
Besides
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 CSR, which usually costs colossal time and money, social duties can be done successfully within their own enterprise. Enhancing working
condition
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conditions
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 and living
standard
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standards
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 for workers is cited as the most radical action. Given the win-win relationships between employees and employers as well as the unshaken importance of staff members as the primary force behind every fruition, I am convinced that they must
therefore
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 be treated well in terms of finance and living aspects. In conclusion, taking the aforementioned responsibilities not only benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society but has a decisive bearing on the reinforced existence and amelioration of all businesses. Because of
this
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 2-way profitable knit, I am of the notion of social obligation of
enterprise
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the enterprise
an enterprise
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.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
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