IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

A 4-week holiday a year can make employees do better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#-week #holiday #year #employees #jobs
As working pressure is mounting in modern society, some people believe that a longer break
such
 as a one-month
holiday
 would enable
employees
 to have a better performance at their jobs. In my opinion, these long vacations are not that useful in helping
employees
 with their
work
. It is true that with a four-week
holiday
,
employees
 can escape from the
work
-related stress to refresh themselves. When they return to their
work
 after the vacation, they may be more energetic towards their
work
 and have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher efficiency for a certain period.
However
, how long the higher efficiency can be maintained and the following effect are debatable. The energy recharged from the
holiday
 can only
last
 for a short time while the challenges and pressure from
work
 will not vanish. Without the real improvement of their working skills,
employees
 will inevitably suffer from the same
work
 pressure again when the energy is burnt out. They may feel even more helpless as they cannot always escape with
such
 holidays.
Besides
 that, some
employees
 may find it difficult to adapt to their
work
 after a long break. It is highly possible that they have to struggle to adjust themselves to meet the high gear in the
work
 field or to catch up with the process left behind in the past month. In conclusion, a long
holiday
 like a four-week one might be helpful for some people to a certain extent, but I do believe it would not help
employees
 with their
work
 performance in the long term. To some staff, a four-week leave may even result in difficulties in doing their
work
 afterwards.
Submitted by xuqing39 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: