Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts and grandparents) are involved in bringing up children rather than only parents. What is your opinion?

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Some
people
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believe that even if bringing up
children
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is
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental
the fundamental
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responsibility of
parents
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, the closest family members like aunts, uncles and grandparents should
also
Linking Words
take part
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
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’s upbringing. I totally agree with
this
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position, which reasons are discussed below. There are numerous reasons why relatives should be involved
into
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in
show examples
kids’ life.
Firstly
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, grandparents usually are the most experienced members of the family due to
the
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their
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age and
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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, which accumulate through many life situations. They are likely to pass on their experience, which no one else has, to the younger generation and teach them those skills and qualities that
parents
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will not be able to because of inexperience in parenting, especially if
this
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is their
first
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child. To add more,
people
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who reached retirement age have much more free time than
middle-aged
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the middle-aged
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group
that
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which
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makes them the perfect
people
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to sit with
children
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.
Moreover
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, the more time
parents
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have for themselves, the more they are filled with energy and vitality, which will definitely help to avoid conflict situations between
parents
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and
children
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.
Generation
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The generation
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gap issue has really spread among modern families as nowadays
people
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tend to give a child birth later than it was some
year
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years
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ago.
However
Linking Words
sufficient rest from
children
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will help
parents
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pay more attention to kids when they come home, which will help to reduce disagreements and create a more nurturing environment for
children
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. In conclusion, I do admit that today's
parents
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have multiple
option
Change to a plural noun
options
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to raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
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heir
Correct your spelling
their
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kids, but I believe that nurturing
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
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with
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
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family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
ultimately gives
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
happy family life for both
parents
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and
children
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.
Submitted by lilith_astaroth on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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