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Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts and grandparents) are involved in bringing up children rather than only parents. What is your opinion?

#people #uncles #aunts #grandparents #children #parents
Some
people
 believe that even if bringing up
children
 is
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental
the fundamental
show examples
 responsibility of
parents
, the closest family members like aunts, uncles and grandparents should
also
 take part
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
’s upbringing. I totally agree with
this
 position, which reasons are discussed below. There are numerous reasons why relatives should be involved
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 kids’ life.
Firstly
, grandparents usually are the most experienced members of the family due to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 age and
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, which accumulate through many life situations. They are likely to pass on their experience, which no one else has, to the younger generation and teach them those skills and qualities that
parents
 will not be able to because of inexperience in parenting, especially if
this
 is their
first
 child. To add more,
people
 who reached retirement age have much more free time than
middle-aged
Correct article usage
the middle-aged
show examples
 group
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes them the perfect
people
 to sit with
children
.
Moreover
, the more time
parents
 have for themselves, the more they are filled with energy and vitality, which will definitely help to avoid conflict situations between
parents
 and
children
.
Generation
Correct article usage
The generation
show examples
 gap issue has really spread among modern families as nowadays
people
 tend to give a child birth later than it was some
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 ago.
However
 sufficient rest from
children
 will help
parents
 pay more attention to kids when they come home, which will help to reduce disagreements and create a more nurturing environment for
children
. In conclusion, I do admit that today's
parents
 have multiple
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
 to raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heir
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 kids, but I believe that nurturing
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
 with
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
 family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 ultimately gives
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 happy family life for both
parents
 and
children
.
Submitted by lilith_astaroth on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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