IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that a high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #salary #company #work #atmosphere
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There is no doubt that working individuals spend their most of time in offices.
While
 some
people
 believe that
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 working
environment
 is important when choosing
organization
Add an article
an organization
the organization
show examples
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher salary is important. In
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
 I will discuss both views and state why I support the former argument. Some
people
 think that when choosing
organization
Correct article usage
an organization
show examples
 inquire about their work culture.
This
 is because they think mental health is vital. If the working
environment
 is good
then
 the employee can focus on work properly,
productivity
Correct word choice
and productivity
show examples
 will increase resulting in better performance.
For instance
, Sweden companies
focuses
Change the verb form
focus
show examples
 more on employee health and their mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.
This
 resulted in
41
Correct article usage
a 41
show examples
% hike in their business sales because when employers provide
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 working
environment
 employees are happy and they try to put
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 best effort to complete the task.
Therefore
, it is better to choose
Add an article
a
the
show examples
company which provides good working conditions.
On the other hand
, Some
people
 think that higher wages are important.
This
 is because if they get good salaries they can buy their favourite things and
also
 focus more on the task. If they were paid less
then
 they are distracted looking for new opportunities and not able to focus on
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 properly. For example,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 survey shows that the reason that
people
 are focusing more on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salaries is that they want to maintain certain life
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 or buy some luxurious things.
As a result
,
people
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
more on wages when selecting
company
Add an article
a company
the company
show examples
 . In conclusion,
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
show examples
 paragraphs contain both sides of view, and I think a good working
environment
 is necessary.
Submitted by abdulbasit667 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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