IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Smoking should be banned in public places. Do what extinct you agree or disagree?

#places
Most countries don't allow smoking in
public
Add an article
the public
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 because of the side effects. Not allowing people to not smoke in
public
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the public
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neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 give
crowd
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the crowd
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 a better awareness of the disadvantages. Some people think smoking might make you feel relaxed and focused. But, smoking causes health issues to your body, especially
teenagers
Change preposition
for teenagers
show examples
, because it will affect them as their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 and body grow.
For example
, once you continue to keep smoking in public
places
. Other
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 will be affected by you and it might give them health issues, unlike your body which won't be affected as them. People usually spend money thinking that
cigarettes
 are cheap and it won't affect their financial status. But the reality is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 affects them because
cigarettes
 are expensive.
For example
, if you kept spending money to buy
cigarettes
 from your parents.
Then
, your parents will be in a bad financial situation. When the other kids see someone smoke in public
places
 they might ignore them and keep going. But you will see them growing and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
smoking
cigarettes
 because someone influenced them to smoke.
For example
, if your son saw you smoking at an early age.
Then
, he will start smoking too because of your
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In brief, smoking in public
places
 has many disadvantages, and taking
this
 decision will reduce the side effects of doing it in public
places
.
Submitted by universamv on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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