IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or diagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In our well-advanced world, a great variety of issues appear,
such
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 as environmental pollution
or
Correct word choice
and
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 traffic movement.
Nevertheless
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, it is often discussed by some individuals that fuel rise is vital in order to resolve
this
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 kind of issue,
while
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 others do not believe in it. From my perspective, it claims a complete disaster because other problematic situations might be faced, much better to follow eco trends like climate-friendly auto to reduce urban vehicle fuel combustion or encourage the community to have bike-oriented lifestyles.
Firstly
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 ,
pay
Correct article usage
a pay
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 rise per gallon in many ways may lead to dissatisfaction in society. As it is known, the middle class is a driving force for economic growth. They use a motor on
regular
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a regular
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 basis to commute to work or to drop their children at school because their automobile could be a source of income. So, if the payment situation tends to grow, they will need to work harder to stay at the same level of living.
Thus
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, the more folk work to earn as much as before, the more displeased they become afterwards.
For example
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, in January 2022, the Kazakhstani authorities increased the tariff on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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natural gas
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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, thereby the mass protests spread all around the country and harmed cities.
Secondly
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, economic laws show that cost rise
misleads
Verb problem
in costs leads
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 to inflation. As a rule, when the price of petrol
grows
Verb problem
rises
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, logistic companies demand money increase for the service they provide, respectively.
Then
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 markets boost the cost of products
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 different figures are shown on price tags.
According to
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 experts, the plate of soup ingredients
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was given as an example for better calculation,
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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 more in comparison to the same bowl the year before, when the oil price was lower. In conclusion, there are a number of alternative approaches to solving both situations, those are electric cars and bikes as a new means of transportation.
Furthermore
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, the latest statistical data revealed that people are keen to purchase both of them, thereby killing birds with one stone.

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Task Response
The introduction does not clearly state your position. Make it clearer whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs to make it easier to follow.
Task Response
Add more specific examples to support your ideas, making your arguments stronger.
Content
You introduced a clear perspective against increasing petrol prices.
Content
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and suggests alternatives.
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