IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People these days watches tv films and other programms alone rather than others .Do hte advantages of this developments outweigh disasvantages.

#people #watches #tv #films #programms #hte #developments #disasvantages
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A trend which increase among people these days is to spend
time
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 alone with movies and other
television
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programms
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programmes
programs
inspite
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in spite
 of watching in
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 of others. In my point of view
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
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 of
this
Linking Words
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 outweigh its merits.
To begin
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 with, even though there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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room for personal
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choices
chocices
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choices
 and
preferences
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 while watching alone
in contrast
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 it may result in individualism.
This
Linking Words
 is why we may not be able to sense the
preferences
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 of our family members and friends.
Although
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this
Linking Words
tendancy
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tendency
 may contribute
block
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a block
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 to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 different communication skills in future,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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to know
Change the verb form
knowing
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 how to incorporate with others in different situations. Another thing to be considered is that
,
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apply
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 these days people are running short of
time
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 and difficult to find
liesure
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leisure
time
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 as well as family
time
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. So whenever we get
time
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 to watch a movie if we involve family members with us both ways it will be beneficial, we got relaxed and
interaced
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interacted
interact
 with family.
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Moreover
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More over
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Moreover
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, when parents sit with children to enjoy some
infornational
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informational
international
 program
in
Change preposition
on
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television
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 with small discussions it will be helpful to improve their knowledge.
Finally
Linking Words
 being with others
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 us more energy and enthusiasm along with a feeling of love. Normally people turn on
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television
Add an article
the television
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 when they are in need of a change.
In
Change preposition
On
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such
Linking Words
 occasions supportive presence of family and friends add more positivity. In another way sitting alone may increase our loneliness
further
Linking Words
 it will result in
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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Correct your spelling
mindset
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mind set
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mindset
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. To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
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 man is a social animal and always enriches in the company of fellow beings. Spending alone with
television
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 despite
satify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 our personal
preferences
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Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
preferences
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, incapable of adding energy, joy and belongingness to our life.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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