IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses
It is undeniable that those who are young from developed
countries
 are likely to go to poorer
countries
 to spend their time
on
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apply
show examples
doing charity work.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
 reason why
this
 is in trend and explain how
this
 is beneficial for these young
people
. Coupled with the increasing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media usage among young
people
, they are easily exposed to the current issues and severe situations of
people
 living in different
countries
. It
engender
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engenders
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 to arouse affluent
people
's interest
towards
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in
show examples
people
 living in
a
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apply
show examples
desperate poverty.
For example
, young generations watch videos from all over the world and they easily recognize the situation of
people
 from poor
countries
 who are
under
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 harmful situation or need financial help.
Consequently
, they are motivated to do charity
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 overseas.
This
 trend gives a myriad of benefits to young
people
 who
works
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work
show examples
 without
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 paid.
First
 of all, it entails the students
broaden
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to broaden
show examples
 their views. By spending time in other
countries
, they learn
different
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about different
show examples
 cultures and experience various perspectives which are more valuable than money.
In addition
, those who have
experiences
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experience
show examples
 in volunteering overseas are likely to get a promising
job
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jobs
show examples
 in the future. Take Samsung
for example
, a global leading company, they give incentives to candidates having involved in social activities abroad in that those applicants are considered as open-minded and actively cooperative in a team.
As a result
, young
people
 can get a better chance to get an admirable job. To conclude, as exposure to social media is increasing
as
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apply
show examples
more young
people
 from developed
countries
 are affected to involve in a community to provide volunteering services for developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 and
this
 phenomenon is beneficial to them eventually by broadening their views and getting a better career chance. I hope more young
people
 decide to support developing
countries
 in the future.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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