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Band 5.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
Nowadays, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 very common and easily available meal and
drinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
drink
show examples
 which contains a large amount of sugar. Many
people
 think that these
products
 should be available at a higher cost so that
people
 think twice to purchase them. I completely agree with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will discuss my viewpoints in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, sugary
products
 are dangerous for our health. It leads to some serious diseases
such
 as obesity, heart attack, high level of cholesterol and so on.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the Indian government found that 65% of
people
 consume sugary
products
 and they have problems with obesity and diabetes.
Furthermore
, folk are consuming these
products
 because of their taste and the company labels these
products
 with attractive images but never mentioned the quantity of sugar and calories.
Moreover
, I think that cost of
such
products
such
 as fast food and soda drink should be hiked and the
prices
 of healthier meals should be less so
people
 definitely will go for a healthier diet. To illustrate, in Germany, there are higher
prices
 are for fast food and
also
this
 food is available at fewer
prices
. The
people
 of Germany are healthier than any other country in the world. To conclude, in my opinion,
this
 is sure that an increase in
prices
 will definitely decrease eating high sugary
products
.
Submitted by Rajwinder Kaur on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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