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Band 4.5

Many women are choosing to have children later in life. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#women #children #life
There is no doubt that recently
women
 has become prefer to make
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
career
 rather than have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
, so they will have
children
 later in life. It
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 because some of them believe that they must work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
professional
proffesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 after they finish their education, and make good money.
Women
 made their choice due to the bill of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debt they have during studying in
Correct your spelling
college
collegge
Correct your spelling
college
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 argument that
women
 must have
children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 young
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 cause the reproduction
system's
Change noun form
system
show examples
 of
women
 will
monopouse
Correct your spelling
menopause
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 time. There are
Correct your spelling
possibilities
posibilities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
 that
women
 can't have
children
 if they have monopose. According
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that monopose, if
women
 have
children
 later in life
also
 it will impact the
children
 too. The long gap
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the ages
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 parents and the
children
 will not good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the growth of the
children
,
such
 as for milk,
children
's graduation,
children
's married or when
children
 have a daughter.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
women
 have their reasons
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why they choose to have
children
 later.
Change preposition
In comparison
show examples
Comparison
Replace the word
Compared
show examples
 with
men
,
women
also
 want to have the same
career
. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
women
 and
men
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
educational
Add an article
an educational
show examples
degree
, so it works to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
professional
proffesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
. not only
men
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
women
 want to
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
 their
workhard
Correct your spelling
work hard
 throughout
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 their
degree
, especially for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who want to pay
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 debt during pay their tuition fees.
Lack
Correct article usage
The lack
show examples
 of
women
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 married
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 young age, it
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
 because in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degree
 has become
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
show examples
 level to have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
career
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bachelors, finish their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 at 22th,
instead
Correct word choice
and instead
show examples
 to get married most of them will force themself to make
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
career
.
This
era
 is so different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 our
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
era
, a lot of people married before they turn
twenties
Correct pronoun usage
their twenties
show examples
.
As a result
, in
this
era
 with the growth of educational
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 and the tuition fee, force people to take
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degree
 at
22th
Change the ending
22nd
show examples
. So
Correct your spelling
not only
notonly
Correct your spelling
not only
women
 but
also
men
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want to have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
career
 after they
Correct your spelling
work hard
workhard
Correct your spelling
work hard
 during
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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