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Band 4

A knowledge of maths is not important for most jobs nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#maths #jobs
In modern-day, technology has become more popular and widespread across the world. In order to keep up with
this
 trend, we need to apply knowledge and experience.Today, I will discuss with you guys the two sides that apply to the situation. It is beneficial for
people
 who specialize only in math and have a high risk of doing not so
good
Change the word
well
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the other
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
Secondly
, it will be easier for
people
 to find apply themselves a job, business or even create their own industries.
Thirdly
,
people
 can show off and popular themselves to other
people
.
For example
, John who is a math person can feel more confident about his ability and skill without worries about other things and pressure.
On the other hand
, the future will continue to grow and increase so
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
people
 have to keep going with not only one speciality but a lot of good
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 to be recommended by
people
 and co-workers. As I said, we have to grow to adapt to the high risk of change
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
 to most jobs and ourselves.Learning math is good but it is not good enough to move forward toward a bright and technological future.Like Donald Trump who is being renowned by everyone and one of the most impressive
people
 to change for a better future. To summarise, the main point is
people
 should work hard to keep up and find a job, improve and
finds
Correct subject-verb agreement
find
show examples
 a new ability hidden inside themselves. In my personal view, I positively agree with
this
 statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will work hard to keep my own opinion
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
true.
Submitted by vothanhchuong06 on

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coherence cohesion
The main points are not logically presented, and the essay lacks clear organization.
task achievement
The response is incomplete and does not fully address the question. The ideas are not clearly developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • omnipresence
  • automation
  • advanced mathematics
  • critical thinking
  • digitalization
  • software tools
  • mathematical literacy
  • personal finance management
  • logical reasoning
  • data analysis
  • mathematical competence
  • complex calculations
  • in-depth
  • broader job market
  • specific fields
What to do next:
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