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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,
children
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 are occupied with lots of things
such
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 as schoolwork and gadget. Many believe that due to their busy schedules, most
children
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 spend most of their time indoors and
therefore
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lack
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
natural
world
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exposures
Fix the agreement mistake
exposure
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why minimal exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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world
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 makes
children
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lack
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 knowledge of
natural
Add an article
the natural
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 environment and why they will not be aware to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
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.
To begin
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 with, not all knowledge about
natural
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the natural
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world
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 can be learned indoors. Even though school teaches
children
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 the aspects of
natural
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the natural
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 environment, it is important for them to see it
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
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. Types of plants,
for instance
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, is an important thing for
children
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 to understand in order to know which plants are edible and which are dangerous for consumption. If
children
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 fail to differentiate them, they may consume poisonous plants that are dangerous for them. Natural sites including glazer,
forest
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forests
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, and volcanoes are another important thing for
children
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 to see. Society is trying to rehabilitate many destroyed forests, but if most
children
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 have never seen the forest, how will they save something they have never seen themselves?
Lack
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 of natural
world
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 exposure makes
children
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 not aware to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
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. Since
children
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 have minimal
information
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of
Change preposition
about
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natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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world
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 in the
first
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 place, they will not have a sense of belonging and
also
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 the importance of saving
the
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apply
show examples
nature
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. Theoretical
information
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 is useless without practical
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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.
For instance
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,
children
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 learned how trees can save the earth from global warming, but without the skill of planting trees,
this
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information
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 is going to be useless. The efforts of saving the earth will only be plans without concrete actions. In conclusion, most
children
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 are now busy with indoor activities.
This
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 has
leads
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led
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 them to have low exposure
of
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to
show examples
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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world
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.
As a result
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, they will
lack
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information
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of
Change preposition
about
show examples
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
world
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 and they will not be aware to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
 when they grow up.

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