Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

Money

, without a doubt, is extremely important, but

people

are chasing it at the stake of the

things

that bring true

happiness

. Some believe

money

can buy

happiness

, while I disagree. In my opinion, it is vital to pay attention to the

things

that bring long-lasting

happiness

, as well. In

this

essay, I will explain how having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great wealth might make

people

happy and will discuss other

things

that I consider

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

far more important.

The

Correct your spelling

They

show examples

are two

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

, why

people

feel they can pay for

happiness

. According to them, leading a luxurious

life

is equal to being happy. They feel, it is only possible if they have an excessive amount of

money

in their bank accounts so that they can purchase luxe products and commodities, whenever they like. Buying expensive cars,

for instance

, does ensure that the buyer has a few moments of thrill and joy. Another possible way, how

money

can contribute to their

happiness

is that they can travel to any place of their choice in the world comfortably, probably, in their private jets. I agree

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

travelling can certainly rejoice

one

. In my opinion,

however

, having a decent amount of

money

Correct your spelling

along with

alongwith

Correct your spelling

along with

other important

things

life

can make a person happy

Correct your spelling

forever

show examples

for ever

Correct your spelling

forever

show examples

. Family time is

one

such

thing which, I believe, a lot of

Correct your spelling

people

pople

Correct your spelling

people

will not trade for anything else in the world as it is the family only, for which

people

work really hard, day and night and try to earn more and more. If there is no work-

life

balance,

for example

, they will be leading a

streeful

Correct your spelling

stressful

life

, no matter how much

money

they are making. Ultimately, health is the most important factor in order to lead a happy

stress free

Add a hyphen

stress-free

show examples

life

. Good health comes free of cost provided that

one

physically exerts a lot and

eat

Correct subject-verb agreement

eats

show examples

healthy

Change the adjective

healthily

show examples

. It is scientifically proven that exercising releases endorphins in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

human body, and they are basically the hormones that make

one

feel happy. In conclusion, despite the fact that

money

is a necessity, it can not assure

happiness

in the long run. It is,

therefore

, crucial to put emphasis on other

Correct your spelling

important

impotant

Correct your spelling

important

factors, which

money

fails to buy like family time and good health.

Submitted by amanmalik640 on Mon Jul 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

371 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? (Band 8,5)
These days,It is becoming more and more popular for people to have computers in their house.Moreover,there is no doubt that children are so keen on palying with video games.Clearly,there are a considerable number of advantages and disadvantages for having computers and palying games with them for children.In this essay,I will address some benefits and drawbacks of using computer games for kids.
<4
band
QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.
At the present time the population of some countries requires journey a tiny period approximately a year between finishing grade 12 and before high studies. it is true that people's lifestyle today have been affected by work-life imbalance. despite the fact that this trend has some demerits, i would argue there are more merits. this essay explore how the benefits of travel outwiegh the drawbacks.
<4
band
Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some scholars believe that because many kids suffer from some materials like mathematics and philosophy, they have to make these articles voluntarily for him . Although this opinion has some logic, l think this science must be studied in kindergarten.
7
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is believed by many people that children should be taught by their parents, whilst others argue that educational institutions are the best place for learning this. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in many cases, I believe that family upbringing could be more adequate to bring their offspring to become good members of the community.
5
band
Some people believ that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is an argument that professionals should only serve in the same country where they got their degrees while others think they have the right to work everywhere. In this essay, I will explain both sides and state my opinion.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? (Band 8,5)

QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believ that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.