The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people’s ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#mass #media #television #radio #newspapers #influence #people’s

It is important to consider how much time we

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

daily on entertainment.

While

some people believe that

mass

media

can help us in some ways in forming our own

views

, others say that it does not do much. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument,

while

I support the former opinion. On the one hand, a lot of folks believe that the

media

does not shape our

views

and

notion

Fix the agreement mistake

notions

show examples

. The reason for

this

is that most of what is telecasted across different platforms. To illustrate, newspapers and television, are

just

Rephrase

not just

show examples

views

but

news

For instance

, many of the

news

channels in my country narrate incidents, be critical or trivial, as if they were storytelling rather than disclosing actual facts and figures, defeating the whole point of communicating the truth.

In contrast

, if the

news

had been reported

Rephrase

apply

show examples

exactly as it was a decade ago,

then

we would have been exposed to more truths than white lies.

On the other hand

, I would argue that some forms of

mass

media

can help us in building our own viewpoint.

This

due to

the fact that a lot of us consume entertainment by means of television or radio, and it exerts, to some extent, some influence on the way we think. To illustrate

this

point, a child may start to build some

views

about any trivial matters just by watching and listening to their favourite television show.

Additionally

, any form of

mass

media

is powerful enough to build or break any notion overnight.

For example

, wrong reporting by a

news

channel in my country, India, often leads to conflict among different communities. Having looked at both sides, even though most of what we learn from

mass

media

nowadays are just half-baked stories, it can, patently, influence both the youth and the adult in forming their point of view because most of them resort to

mass

media

for

news

and entertainment.

Submitted by utsavchandel26sep on Mon Jul 11 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more clearly articulated. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of the main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

The essay presents a complete response to the question, but it could benefit from more comprehensive and clearly articulated ideas. Provide more specific examples to support the arguments and ensure that they are relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people’s ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The problem of homelessness is on the rise in several significant urban centers globally. What is the main cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it by communities and governments?

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

Topic 3: Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.