IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary Schools since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary Schools since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #schools #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The three maps provide information about the development
occurred
Correct pronoun usage
that occurred
show examples
 at West Park Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 from the beginning of its establishment in 1950 and over 2 periods of time in 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 increased in
size
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 gives it a chance to enhance and provide new facilities over the period given. In 1950, there were the
Use synonyms
school
Change noun form
school's
show examples
 main building in front of the main road and the playground at the back of the
school
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, there were several blocks
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 houses and farmland on the opposite side. By 1980, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a significant change that occurred in houses area
as well as
Linking Words
 farmland. For houses blocks, they converted to science
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
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 and car
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 as new facilities introduced in 1980.
Moreover
Linking Words
, farmland turned to be
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 field that
also
Linking Words
 add privilege to the
school
Use synonyms
. By 2010, There was
a
Remove the article
apply
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considerable growth in
Use synonyms
size
Add an article
the size
show examples
 of the car park.
However
Linking Words
, The
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 field shrink to
quarter
Add an article
a quarter
show examples
 of its original
size
Use synonyms
 in 1980. There was a slight change as well in the
size
Use synonyms
 of the playground
while
Linking Words
 the main building remain steady in front of the main road.
Submitted by Asbab15 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, size with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • initially
  • subsequently
  • transformation
  • expansion
  • reduction
  • relocation
  • layout
  • adjacent
  • modification
  • demolished
  • constructed
  • facilities
  • infrastructure
  • proximity
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