Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #rate #crime

Some argue that advanced

technology

can prevent and decrease

crime

rates. It is a common belief that

technology

cannot protect

people

from criminals.

However

, I definitely agree that the application of

technology

can effectively prevent

crimes

because of two reasons, which are the number of security cameras and smartphones. First of all,

due to

the development of

technology

, the police force has been able to install many surveillance cameras on streets and roads in the city. Frequent observations and recordings can be conducted.

As a result

people

are reluctant to commit

crimes

even if it is a slight problem since they are fully aware they will be caught as soon as they do so.

For instance

, after the South Korean government put at least one security camera on a street in 2013, the number of committed

crimes

declined significantly by 30%.

This

shows it is effective enough to prevent a

crime

Furthermore

, high-end

technology

makes it possible

that

Correct word choice

for

show examples

every person in the world to have a smartphone.

People

can call the police as soon as they witness a

crime

, meaning police officers can depart and arrest criminals in a

small

Correct word choice

short

show examples

amount of time. Creating evidence

such

as a photo and a video by using a smartphone is

also

an important feature of

technology

. An example of

this

is that a

robbery

Replace the word

robber

show examples

ran away because his face was taken on a video by a smartphone

while

he was robbing a convenience store in Seoul.

This

implies that the sophisticated function of smartphones protects users from

crime

. For these reasons,

it is clear that

advanced

technology

can properly stop

people

from committing

crimes

Submitted by wlgh5955 on Mon Jul 11 2022

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task response

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. However, it lacks the depth and complexity expected at this level.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure is generally clear, but it could benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matter is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. To what extent to you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some universities require students to take classes in many subjects. other universities require students to specialze in one subject. which is better?use specific reasons and exampes to support your answer.