Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitats at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people's recreation. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Explain your reasons and support them with specific examples.

#move #ocean #creatures #habitats #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people #recreation #outweigh #support

In the recent era, replacing the

sea

creature from

Correct your spelling

their

thir

Correct your spelling

their

habitats

Change preposition

with

show examples

Add an article

the aquarium

an aquarium

show examples

aquarium

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aquariums

show examples

is easily doable with the great enhancement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

transportation and technology.

However

, the question still remains open whether

this

relocation is beneficial for

people

's recreation or not. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

we will discuss both points, and I think it's

disadvantegous

Correct your spelling

disadvantageous

disadvantages

to move the animals from their natural habitats. There are several

benefit

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benefits

show examples

relocate

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relocating

show examples

the

sea

creatures to the amusement park.

First

, It will

be help

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help

show examples

to attract more tourism and local business can be benefitted from

Correct your spelling

this

their

theis

Correct your spelling

this

tourism.

Secondly

, it

provide

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provides

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

great source

for

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show examples

information educating the

people

and especially

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apply

show examples

the students about the various

sea

species, their life and survival, and most importantly how we can save

this

animal from extinction. For e.g, Dubai host one of the largest

aquarium

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aquaria

show examples

in the world, bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

sea

animal from around the

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globe

globel

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globe

to attract

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourist and as well as they provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lecture

for

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show examples

each different breed they carry for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

to understand what particular

sea

mammal eats to survive.

However

this

advantage

also

comes with

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the drawback

show examples

drawback

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drawbacks

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the

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apply

show examples

nature.

Main

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The main

show examples

disadvantage of relocating the

sea

creature is that it will impact their breeding process because most

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fish need

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

show examples

and stable

Correct your spelling

temperature

temprature

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temperature

to breed. Furthermost,

space

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the space

show examples

provided in the amusement part is quite small that too shared with other creatures and noises from the tourist that can create

uncomfortable

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an uncomfortable

show examples

environment for them. For e.g, emperor

pengiun

Correct your spelling

penguin

for breeding

require

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requires

show examples

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

low temperature and

stable

Correct article usage

a stable

show examples

ice platform

for

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apply

show examples

breeding. They cannot survive long in the man-made created snow house,

hence

in the

last

years

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,years

show examples

Hong Kong has seen

the

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show examples

decline in the number of

pengiun

Correct your spelling

penguin

penguins

in their WorldOcean park. With

this

Correct your spelling

government

Governement

Correct your spelling

Government

has decided not to move the

pengiun

Correct your spelling

penguin

from their north pole

habitate

Correct your spelling

habitat

artificial

Correct article usage

an artificial

show examples

snow room. We are not denying that having

creature

Fix the agreement mistake

creatures

show examples

in the amusement park is beneficial for the

people

to learn and promote

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourism.

However

, with the aforementioned points, one will agree that it's

disadvantegous

Correct your spelling

disadvantageous

disadvantages

to relocate any

sea

species from

natural

Correct pronoun usage

its natural

show examples

habitat as they cannot survive long with

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

in the surrounding atmosphere and noise.

Submitted by anil_dabhicp on Tue Jul 12 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

365 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitats at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people's recreation. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Explain your reasons and support them with specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert and atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

In some countries the percentage of 15 year-olds in the population is already significant and is continuing to grow. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?