IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people believe that education standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

#people #education #standards #times #areas #literacy #numeracy #offer
in the modern era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that education standards have declined,
such
 as in the area of literacy and numeracy. It
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 because in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 has grown rapidly and it makes there are
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of obstacles to
concetrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss the problems and the solutions in
way
Add an article
a way
show examples
 to increase the standards of education. There is no doubt that
technology
 has become
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 the
technology
also
 become easier to access.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the Internet and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphones, where it become primarily
needs
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
. Either old people or young people can't live without the Internet and
smarphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
,
such
 as the employees and the
students
. In
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
case
Change to a plural noun
cases
show examples
, the system of education
force
Change the form of the verb
forced
show examples
 the
students
 to have smartphones,
moreover
, during the covid 19, where there is no offline
class
. In some countries,
for example
 in Indonesia, before the pandemic has come nore all the
students
 have smartphones. But the condition force the parents to
bought
Change the form of the verb
buy
show examples
 a smartphone for their
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
, if not it will impact the children
where
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 can't
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 the online
class
. Following the
grown
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
, it makes
study
 become easier because the source of the
literatures
Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 unlimited. At the same time, the
students
 not only use their phones to
study
 and get
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
class
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
play
Fix the infinitive
to play
show examples
 a
game
 using their phones.
Additionally
, the growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
also
 makes a
game
 can be downloaded easily.
This
game
 is so refreshing, but without limits of
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 it can be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
obstacles
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacle
show examples
 for
students
 to
study
.
This
 is the problem why in recent days, the standard of
technology
was decrease
Change the verb form
was decreased
was decreasing
show examples
 gradually. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 helps the
students
 to
study
, even in
Correct article usage
a pandemic
show examples
pandemic
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
show examples
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 there is no
class
 in school. But following the
grown
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of the
Correct your spelling
technology
techonolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
, a
game
also
 become easier to access.
This
 is the problem
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the
students
 have a lot of obstacles to
concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrating
show examples
.
Submitted by yudhajatmiko94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: