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Band 6.5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time
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When it comes to
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
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activities
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
, there is a growing debate over whether the
activities
Use synonyms
 have to be educational or not.
Although
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 some people think they must be related to education, I believe the
activities
Use synonyms
 which are not educational are
also
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 valuable and helpful for
children
Use synonyms
 in many ways.
First
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 of all, recreations that are not educational foster
cognitive
Correct article usage
the cognitive
show examples
 growth of
children
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, the recreations help to grow their ability to think and reason.
For example
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, when
children
Use synonyms
 do
activities
Use synonyms
 like treasure hunts, they have to plan how to find the hidden treasures by themselves. During the activity, they need to solve problems, concentrate, and think in critical ways to discover the treasures.
Consequently
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,
this
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 activity stimulates their brain to develop in positive ways and fastens cognitive growth;
however
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, it is hard to develop those things through educational
activities
Use synonyms
 since they mostly focus on sharing knowledge.
In addition
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, non-academic leisure
activities
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 offer chances for
children
Use synonyms
 to learn how to build relationships and cooperate with others. From my experience, I could be a more cooperative and friendly person compared
with
Change preposition
to
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 my peer group. Back in elementary school, I was fortunate to have many opportunities to do
activities
Use synonyms
 with my friends like a singing contest. While I prepared for the singing contest with my group members, there were some conflicts between us.
Nonetheless
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, I asked for help from my teacher and solved the problem by cooperating with each
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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. Like
this
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, people can learn important skills through the
activities
Use synonyms
although
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 they are not related to academics. In conclusion,
children
Use synonyms
’s leisure
activities
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 do not need to be educational because they not only foster the development of some sections of people’s
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 help to learn the skills that
children
Use synonyms
 need in the future
such
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 as building bonds and collaborating with other people. I believe there is no useless experience; every experience is a chance to learn and grow.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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