IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?

#countries #people #food #restaurants #shops #waste #amount
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, People waste a huge amount of food from hotels
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and restaurants. There are many reasons for
this
,
however
, we shall discuss a few major aspects in the essay below.
Firstly
,The main cause of
wastage
Correct article usage
the wastage
show examples
 of food is that customers order in surplus.
For example
 , recently I went to my friend's birthday party which was organized in a renowned eatery and 15 members attended that gathering. But my peer,who hosted the celebration ordered the meal for 25 people just to show off his financial status. So, in the end,so much of it is wasted and
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
thrown in the garbage
due to
 one individual's mistake and his craving to showcase his money.
Secondly
,the other reason is that owners of these eateries lack the ability to guess the sale for that particular day.They should be able to access the number of meals that ought to be prepared for any particular day.
For instance
, the sale will be high on the weekends ,holidays and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
festivals compared to that on regular days.So to reduce the eatables loss , the leader of the organisation should make proper decisions and cook less on days that are considered to be having less selling. Citizens waste foodstuff because they do not know the difficulty and time taken to produce a single grain of rice.The majority of us are not aware of the hardships involved in farming and the reality that, many people die because of hunger.
To conclude
, Proper enlightenment ought to be bought in each and every human being about the value of a meal and children need to be educated by their parents
In addition
 to
this
,a strict law should be passed by the government,making farming and cultivation a part of their syllabus .
This
 makes the young minds change their perspective about the value of daily bread,which
consequently
 results in reducing food wastage.
Submitted by prateepkandru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay displays relevant ideas but lacks a clear organization of these ideas. Make sure to structure your essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and provide support for it.
task response
While you have introduced relevant ideas related to the topic, your response does not fully address all parts of the question. Ensure that you fully answer all aspects of the prompt and develop your ideas thoroughly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overproduction
  • inefficient
  • supply chains
  • perception
  • disposable
  • replaceable
  • awareness
  • education
  • regulations
  • redistribution
  • donation
  • portion control
  • inventory management
  • public awareness campaigns
  • attitudes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: