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Band 4

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #sources #areas #necessity #outweigh
Nowadays there are a
lot
 of
students
Correct pronoun usage
who continue
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continue
Wrong verb form
continuing
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 their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 outside their origin country.
Although
students
 will often struggle with cultural and linguistic challenges while abroad, they will
also
 gain significant life experiences that will reward them later on in their careers. In my opinion,
students
 who have experience
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living in
others country
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
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 will have more advantages than
students
 who never
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to abroad for studying. The main advantage of studying abroad is that
students
 will learn a
lot
 of new things they never had before in life. They will learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 culture, new language, new atmosphere,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. That will push
students
 to unleash their ability to adapt more quickly. Studying abroad
also
 push
students
 to leave their comfort zone to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new zone that can increase their ability. All of
this
 experience will give
students
 more knowledge and confidence for their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 in the future. Despite
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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, there are
also
 disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 studying abroad.
First
 of course in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of cost. Studying abroad spent
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 amount of cost. Most people had to prepare
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
 budget in order to catch their dreams
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 studying abroad. Even though they had prepared a
lot
 of budgets, sometimes they are struggling with
economical
Add an article
the economical
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 because of unexpected needs while living in other countries.
Consider
Wrong verb form
Considering
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 all of
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
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 and negatives
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 conclude that studying abroad has more beneficial for people. By studying abroad, people have a
lot
 of experiences that
impossible
Add a missing verb
are impossible
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 for those who are not.
That
Correct your spelling
What
show examples
 experiences bring
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 amount of beneficial impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their career in the future.
Submitted by alimr.bri2 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
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