IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Instead
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 of creating their own
food
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 commodities, governments throughout the world are increasingly dependent on
food
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 imported from other
countries
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. It is, in my opinion, a dangerous trend that will have a detrimental influence on the agricultural sectors of
countries
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. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my thoughts in detail. The disadvantage of depending on imported commodities rather than indigenous goods is that all local farmers in the nation who rely on crop sales would see a significant drop, lowering their living conditions.
As a result
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, agricultural workers may need to seek alternative employment opportunities.
Moreover
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, during times of crisis, nations that import products on a large scale will stop doing so, causing other
countries
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 that buy these items to suffer greatly.
Additionally
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, imported
food
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 is not necessarily nutritious. To preserve the
food
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 while it is transported to other parts of the world, specific chemicals are added to it. These preservatives have been linked to the development of deadly illnesses
such
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 as cancer.
In addition
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, failing to maintain storage facilities results in significant
food
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 waste.
Moreover
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,
countries
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 have to spend a huge amount
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 foreign
countries
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 in trade, and imported
food
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 is overpriced. It
also
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 has a negative impact on the nations' native cultures. In Japan,
for example
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, where imported meals are growing more popular, people's knowledge of their own indigenous cuisines is dwindling.
However
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, in a way, it might
also
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 be true that importing goods can provide access to some foods that would
otherwise
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 be unavailable in certain
countries
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. Preserved foods kept for extended periods,
on the other hand
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, can induce a range of illnesses. To summarise, imports are not always beneficial, and they have a negative influence on the country's agriculture sector, weakening the country's economic position.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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