IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Television, newspaper, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#television #newspaper #magazines #media #attention #lives #people #figures #celebrities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally accepted that famous
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as public figures and
celebrities
Use synonyms
 get interested from a large number of
people
Use synonyms
. Following
this
Linking Words
, public
media
Use synonyms
 including television, newspapers and magazines would present their personal activities.
However
Linking Words
, I would argue that several
stories
Use synonyms
 are sensitive leading to stigmata. Many
people
Use synonyms
 want to know about the private lives of
celebrities
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
 a large amount of public
media
Use synonyms
 displays them. Sometimes those
stories
Use synonyms
 could inspire other
people
Use synonyms
 to get their achievements or could be a
Correct your spelling
role model
show examples
role-model
Correct your spelling
role model
show examples
 for the younger generation.
For instance
Linking Words
, The famous actress does exercises every day and shows her weight and her body shape to the public which inspires many
people
Use synonyms
 to start exercising.
However
Linking Words
, in my point of view, The
media
Use synonyms
 reveal aspects of sensitive issues and
also
Linking Words
 invade the privacy of
celebrities
Use synonyms
. To be more precise, They uncover background
stories
Use synonyms
 of
celebrities
Use synonyms
 without permission.
For example
Linking Words
, the photographer shadowed a famous singer to take a photo when she was spending quality time with her boyfriend. One more example was the reporter asking an actor about the illness of his mother that was not relevant to their work
Moreover
Linking Words
, a large number of
stories
Use synonyms
 are published without the truth. The
media
Use synonyms
 show information that makes profit rather than accuracy.
For instance
Linking Words
, the newspapers assumed a reason for divorcing a well-known couple is very invasive. In conclusion, because the public
media
Use synonyms
 constantly display the individual private lives of
celebrities
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
 like to read or watch
this
Linking Words
 from several platforms. I am concerned that the
stories
Use synonyms
 invade the privacy of famous
people
Use synonyms
 so we should carefully read or watch their
stories
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tipdaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: