IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
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Large
Add an article
A large
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 percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
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spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of their lives living near
to
Change preposition
apply
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their
birth place
Correct your spelling
birthplace
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. I believe that many of them have their reasons to do so and I will shed some light on
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages of doing so in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, mankind
like
Change the verb form
likes
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 to be surrounded by familiar folks and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 lamented
of
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apply
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being alone or circled by strangers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, living
in
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apply
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where they were born is the best way to avoid
insecure
Replace the word
insecurity
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 and unfamiliarity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, financial burden or unaffordability makes
people
Use synonyms
 have to stay with their parents
,
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apply
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 because the real estate price today is too high to be afforded. It is true that keep living in
people
Use synonyms
's homeland has
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of advantages. To elaborate on
this
Linking Words
,
people
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 may found easier to select schools or find jobs because they are confident about local situations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, strong
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with neighbourhoods and relatives provide residents
strong
Change preposition
with strong
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supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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, as any resident can conveniently call for help if they require one.
As a result
Linking Words
, residents can not only live without much pressure but
also
Linking Words
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 supported strongly.
However
Linking Words
, negative impacts appear to be equally obvious.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 who spend most of their life living in the same community are very likely
Add the particle
to narrow
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narrow minded
Add a hyphen
narrow-minded
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. Lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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communication or education from outside may lead to biases and stereotypes among the locals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals who live in the same place for too long may experience problems
of
Change preposition
with
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 keeping privacy, as their connections with neighbours are too close to maintain
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of boundary. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 who
tends
Change the verb form
tend
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 to live in their motherland for life long time may due to social and financial reasons. There are both advantages and disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
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 doing so and they are identically imperative to consider.
Submitted by luyudong1136 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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