IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

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With the development of social equality,
gender
Use synonyms
 equality has become a heated topic. While some think that
women
Use synonyms
 have the right to do any
job
Use synonyms
 they want, others believe that
women
Use synonyms
 cannot do some special
jobs
Use synonyms
. Personally, I do
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 the view that there should not have any limitations on
women
Use synonyms
's choices, they can do any
job
Use synonyms
 they want. In terms of individuals, the
stereotype
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 that
women
Use synonyms
 are not suitable to do certain
jobs
Use synonyms
 has adverse effects not only for
women
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 but for men. On the one hand,
this
Linking Words
 thought that
women
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 only suit some low-paying
jobs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as nurses, secretaries, teachers and healthy workers forms a
stereotype
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, which is not beneficial to bridging the
gender
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 pay gap. If the
gender
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 pay gap is widened,
women
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 are reluctant to go to work, which means they are more likely to experience domestic violence because they depend on their husbands.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
stereotype
Use synonyms
 will develop discrimination. One man,
for instance
Linking Words
, who are interested in teaching children but because of
this
Linking Words
gender
Use synonyms
stereotype
Use synonyms
 will do a
job
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 he dislikes, which will lower his well-being. Obviously,
such
Linking Words
 detrimental effects
also
Linking Words
 have a knock-on impact throughout society. Taking executive
jobs
Use synonyms
 as an example, there is a
stereotype
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 that
women
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 are not suitable for political
jobs
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. If a country's political officials are all men, the country's laws made by men will favour males, which undermines
women
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's rights.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 a stable perspective,
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 discrimination will lead to more
gender
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 conflicts that will damage a country's cohesion. In conclusion, while it is true that there is still a
stereotype
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 that
women
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 are not good at particularly
jobs
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, it is problematic that some still keep
this
Linking Words
 discrimination.
This
Linking Words
 view inevitably has negative impacts on individuals' physical and mental health, as well as the cohesion of communities.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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