IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Economic growth in recent years made some people in both developed countries and developing countries richer. However, research shows that while people in developing countries are happier, people in developed countries seem not happier than before. Why does this happen? What can we learn from it?

#growth #years #people #countries #research #happen
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nobody can deny the growing economic progress in both developing and developed
nations
Use synonyms
 thanks to globalization. Whereas those
nations
Use synonyms
 benefit a lot and become wealthier along the line, studies reveal only individuals in the developing
nations
Use synonyms
 are more delighted with
this
Linking Words
 progress. Basically, there’re many reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and we will discuss
this
Linking Words
 issue in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Happiness
Use synonyms
 is the key factor that makes
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
 more valuable. In recent years,
people
Use synonyms
 living in developing
countries
Use synonyms
 are more satisfied with their
life
Use synonyms
 than those in the past, while
people
Use synonyms
 belonging to developed
countries
Use synonyms
 encounter the contrary phenomenon. It is obvious that
people
Use synonyms
 from developing
nations
Use synonyms
 could have higher living standards nowadays in comparison with their previous dwellers. In these
countries
Use synonyms
,
money
Use synonyms
 plays a fundamental role in
people
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
. With the rapid development, they tend to earn more
money
Use synonyms
 that could help them escape from poverty, allowing them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their wishes and improve their living quality.
As a result
Linking Words
, they become wealthier and feel happier in their
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, competition in the economy and surrounding problems in society is something that
people
Use synonyms
 are not happy about. Due to economic growth,
companies
Use synonyms
 have to compete fiercely against each other for the market. Employees are forced to
work
Use synonyms
 harder than before to avoid being overtaken by other
companies
Use synonyms
 in technology, quality, and quantity.
For example
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
 in technology, and furniture, ... have to regularly update the market situation to create new designs and technologies to attract customers. When the competition between
companies
Use synonyms
 is higher, the workers will have to put more effort into their
work
Use synonyms
 to get a lot of
work
Use synonyms
 done. That will make their
time
Use synonyms
 can only be spent on
work
Use synonyms
, but lose
time
Use synonyms
 with family, and entertainment, ... which means that
people
Use synonyms
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 are no longer as happy as they used to be. Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, Oxford University economist, and WHR collaborator says: “In terms of policy, we always feel that developing for the sake of growth cannot be considered the
happiness
Use synonyms
 of mankind." From the sentence and the reasons I mentioned above, we can infer some valuable lessons about
happiness
Use synonyms
. It is true that we need to
work
Use synonyms
 and earn
money
Use synonyms
 for our lives but there is no denying that we need to enjoy our lives with our lovely
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, financial adequacy is very important. Without
money
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
 will have to live in poverty and
work
Use synonyms
 too hard to earn a living.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are often under constant pressure and
therefore
Linking Words
 cannot live happily as financially stable
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments should support their citizens by providing more job opportunities and greater subsidies during difficult times
such
Linking Words
 as a global pandemic or economic crisis to sustain their lives. they are at the basic level.
Besides
Linking Words
, other aspects of
life
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 need to be closely considered to ensure sustainability,
such
Linking Words
 as environmental and social issues. Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 are materialistic, chasing a rich
life
Use synonyms
 without caring about the existing, good things around them.
Money
Use synonyms
 is important but not everything.
Happiness
Use synonyms
 cannot be bought with
money
Use synonyms
. It is what makes
life
Use synonyms
 worth living. Human
life
Use synonyms
 is limited, so let's spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 for ourselves, travel, discover ourselves, nurture our interests, and wear the crown of ourselves.
Besides
Linking Words
, we should
also
Linking Words
 spend
time
Use synonyms
 with family and those around us, enjoying the moments and moments together.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: