Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

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With the rising trend of animal-related conservation, many people claim that there is an abundant amount of attention and resources distributed to wild

species

. Personally, I strongly disagree with that idea due to the following justifications.

First

and foremost, the most outstanding reason underlying

this

idea is that provided heed and reserves for wildlife organisms are not adequate. It is because there are numerous

species

presenting on the globe so it would necessitate greater preservation.

Secondly

, illegal

animal-trading

Correct your spelling

animal trading

show examples

is still extremely common nowadays.

This

is to say that there are still no strict laws or punishment to ban as well as prevent

such

inhumane activities

towards

Change preposition

toward

show examples

innocent creatures. The

second

justification is that it is human that causes detrimental extinction for wildlife. To be specific, extinct creatures would lead to the loss of natural diversity

unbalance

Correct word choice

and unbalance

show examples

of the ecosystem, causing a plethora of devastating consequences.

Thus

, the local authorities should invest

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

in scientific research to find out the most sufficient strategy

preventing

Change the verb form

to prevent

show examples

living

species

from extinction.

Additionally

, due to a huge amount of human waste and toxic

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

consequently

, causing harmful damage to feathered and livestock

species

Hence

, the government bodies should enforce drastic rules or

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

to alleviate the current situation. In conclusion, the world is still lacking

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

proper countermeasure and capital in terms of preserving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals and birds.

In addition

to that, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

also

kaleidoscope

Add an article

a kaleidoscope

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of illegal trading of

species

and

organism’s

Change noun form

organism

show examples

extinction

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

still prevailing.

Therefore

, the given statement appears not to be completely rational.

Submitted by happyhihihehe on Fri Jul 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Due to the increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new resources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Some educationalist think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at school to extend. Do you do that advantages outweigh disadvantages?