IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The unpaid community services (such as teaching children sports or working for the charity) should be made a necessary part in college programs. To what extent do you agree?

#community #services #children #sports #charity #part #college #programs
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It is a belief that
volunteer
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work
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 should be a mandatory syllabus in the university degree because it would not only beneficial to the
student
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, but
also
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 to
society
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.
Therefore
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, I have a high opinion of the same.
To begin
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 with, the benefit to the
student
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 from the unpaid service. A hands-on
experience
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 can be considered a primary advantage. Being a
student
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, it is hard for them to get hands-on real market
experience
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 because of their tight schedule for study and no past
experience
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.
This
Linking Words
 is where
volunteer
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work
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 can be fruitful as it neither requires a long time of
work
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 dedication
,
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apply
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 nor any existing skill. Being a helping hand without any financial expectation,
moreover
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, could be helpful to the community. The poor
people
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, who do not have money to pay for the facility, could be supported by the volunteers.
For instance
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, in 2019, the majority of
people
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 were infected with
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 virus in India.
In
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During
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such
Linking Words
 time, the medical students of J. N. Medical College took the
Correct your spelling
initiative
intiative
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initiative
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and started
volunteer
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 treatment for the beggars who cannot afford
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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high medical charges.
This
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 way, defining a mandatory part
in
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of
show examples
 college study can increase
number
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the number
show examples
 of volunteers and can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 stronger.
On the other hand
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, if there is not any unpaid
commuity
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community
work
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 involved in the university study, the freshers would require to face a hard time to get hired from the company due to they do not have market
Correct your spelling
experience
expierence
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experience
 as generally, the employer is looking for an experienced candidate.
The
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
society
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,
additionally
Linking Words
, will suffer as the needy
people
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 will not get any attention to their basic needs because they do not have money to spend and no
volunteer
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 is available. In conclusion, the community as well as the graduate
student
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 need unpaid service to be included through the mandatory college course for the sake of their own benefits,
such
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 as a
work
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experience
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 for
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Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
, and
Correct your spelling
receiving
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 support for the poor
people
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 of the
society
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 and
that is
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 why I am in the support of
this
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 view.
Submitted by Ishaan433 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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