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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that learners should adopt technology in their education.others believe that this technology is causing more damage than good.

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Introduction
A couple of individuals hold the view that
technology
Use synonyms
 should be embraced by students in their education, whereas others argue that it is becoming more harmful rather than
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
beneficial.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the positive aspects of
technology
Use synonyms
 is that it prepares children to face the digital future.Owing to the fact that almost everything in the current world has been digitalised, children who acquire
technology
Use synonyms
 in schools tend to do well in their future careers because they are familiar with the systems and machines being used in their offices.
For instance
Linking Words
, research conducted recently showed that those people who are doing well in companies are those who had adopted
technology
Use synonyms
 in schools.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 they are occupying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
management positions at their
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , indiscipline cases
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased
as a result
Linking Words
 of
technology
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many students who have access to computers and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in school are visiting sites
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they are not allowed to and in many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 most of them tend to experiment
what
Change preposition
with what
show examples
 they see.
For example
Linking Words
, according to recent polls by
Guardian
Correct article usage
the Guardian
show examples
 newspaper, an increasing number of female students are getting pregnant maybe
as a result
Linking Words
 of watching pornography.
Thus
Linking Words
 many of them
dropping
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
 out of school.
Conclusion
To sum up, despite having a disadvantage like increasing indiscipline cases in schools,
technology
Use synonyms
 is beneficial when it comes to preparing children for their future.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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