More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses

this

era, there is an upward tendency that teenagers

participate

Fix the infinitive

to participate

show examples

in helping poorer areas voluntary in terms of education and construction of buildings. In

this

essay, the reasons for

this

phenomenon will be discussed as well as who

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

truly benefited. There are several reasons to explain why an increasing number of younger generations would like to assist the poorer.

To begin

with, social justice plays a vital role in

this

model. While resources are allocated unevenly around the world, it is undoubted that some people possess considerable materials but some cannot be lifted out of poverty.

Hence

, in order to achieve justice, more and more young crowds are passionate about distributing resources fairly in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unrich areas.

Moreover

, many organizations

such

as doctors without borders devote themselves to developing countries and they broadcast their experiences to the public which significantly inspires young people to attain those activities. From my perspective, I believe that a man who is giving obtains more compared to the one who is receiving.

Firstly

, involving volunteering activities is a precious experience for teenagers to acquire not only assisting skills but

also

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of accomplishment.

Hence

, their abilities are enhanced and they possess more confidence to handle their obstacles.

Secondly

, junior members

also

gradually understand themselves and what they want to be in the future during these events.

Therefore

, it is why the number of students who want to have a gap year increases dramatically nowadays. In conclusion, social justice and the broadcast of volunteering organizations are two primary factors that trigger more teenagers to do unsalaried jobs in developing countries and they are more benefited than those who are gained assistance.

Submitted by wanchu.nien on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To with extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or negative development

Some people opine that large outdoor public buildings should be built in cities and towns. Do you agree or disagree?

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?