If you could make two changes in the educational system of your country, what aspects would you change? Support your ideas with reasons and examples and discuss how the changes you suggest would improve the system.

#two #changes #system #country #aspects #change #support

Nowadays, due to worldwide improvement in every sector, some systems became old-fashioned and needed to be changed, which

also

include

Correct subject-verb agreement

includes

show examples

education. If I get a chance to make changes

for

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it, I will do proper and optimal ways to get achievements.

First

of all, I want to upgrade the school curriculum by discussing with respective teaching experts according to the needs and updates by exchanging information and techniques from international research as it is crucial for students from our

country

to meet the standardized

trainings

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training

pieces of training

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. As some syllabuses become out of date when compare to the current social and technological developments, they cannot fully attract the trainees' attention. Changing

modernized

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the modernized

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curriculum in the

country

can bring up

better

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a better

show examples

education system for the young citizens which

participate

Correct subject-verb agreement

participates

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an important root in creating

the

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show examples

better

country

In addition

, another important thing to be improved is the teaching style.

For instance

, we use teacher-led

trainings

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training

pieces of training

show examples

in schools in recent decades and do tests and examinations to access the progress of children, which now does not meet the criteria of

current

Add an article

the current

a current

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trend.

Moreover

, the research can approve the advantages of changing the traditional teacher-approached styles to

children-centered

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children-centred

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one

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ones

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. The new style includes group work and discussions between the youngsters and their instructors, which let them get new experiences of

Correct your spelling

teamwork

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team work

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teamwork

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, new classmates and more pleasure in classrooms. To summarize, the main changes might be in Curriculum and teaching styles which will bring better outcomes not only for the citizens but

also

for the

country

Submitted by Khinmyathsu94 on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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If you could make two changes in the educational system of your country, what aspects would you change? Support your ideas with reasons and examples and discuss how the changes you suggest would improve the system.

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reason for this Trend and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide example for your opinion.

Some people thick that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone should take part in this issue.

(VMN-Fixed)Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays more and more people are using smartphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?