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Band 5.5

If you could make two changes in the educational system of your country, what aspects would you change? Support your ideas with reasons and examples and discuss how the changes you suggest would improve the system.

#two #changes #system #country #aspects #change #support
Nowadays, due to worldwide improvement in every sector, some systems became old-fashioned and needed to be changed, which
also
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
 education. If I get a chance to make changes
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it, I will do proper and optimal ways to get achievements.
First
 of all, I want to upgrade the school curriculum by discussing with respective teaching experts according to the needs and updates by exchanging information and techniques from international research as it is crucial for students from our
country
 to meet the standardized
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
. As some syllabuses become out of date when compare to the current social and technological developments, they cannot fully attract the trainees' attention. Changing
modernized
Correct article usage
the modernized
show examples
 curriculum in the
country
 can bring up
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 education system for the young citizens which
participate
Correct subject-verb agreement
participates
show examples
 an important root in creating
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better
country
.
In addition
, another important thing to be improved is the teaching style.
For instance
, we use teacher-led
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 in schools in recent decades and do tests and examinations to access the progress of children, which now does not meet the criteria of
current
Add an article
the current
a current
show examples
 trend.
Moreover
, the research can approve the advantages of changing the traditional teacher-approached styles to
children-centered
Change the spelling
children-centred
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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. The new style includes group work and discussions between the youngsters and their instructors, which let them get new experiences of
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
, new classmates and more pleasure in classrooms. To summarize, the main changes might be in Curriculum and teaching styles which will bring better outcomes not only for the citizens but
also
 for the
country
.
Submitted by Khinmyathsu94 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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