The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts illustrate information about four various destinations of grad and post alumna admission of the UK after completing their college in the year 2008 .those who started full-time education.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clearly evident both UK alum and postgraduate admission had a similar destination after leaving college as the figures show the majority went for
further
Linking Words
study and the least figure of them chorused for voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. It is obvious that about 17735 graduate students opted for part-time work which is only 1500 people more than the sum of unemployed
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
about
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statistic of unemployment doctor about 16235 students .
likewise
Linking Words
the total of postgraduates who went on to part-time work and
further
Linking Words
study are close to each other with a difference of 190 people on the figures were 2535 and 2275 respectively. It is observed that nearly 3500 UK doctors opted for voluntary work which is in a similar proportion to the postgraduates where 345 chose the same ,
Also
Linking Words
it is seen in the case of future study that the sum of alum is 29665 which is the highest statistic in the table ,
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
about 1625 postgraduates were unemployed that which was very lower than graduates unemployment.
Submitted by mr.rahimi30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time work
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • trends
  • part-time work
  • further study
  • gap year
  • traveling
  • unemployment
  • percentages
  • proportion
  • significant differences
  • subsequent activities
  • career progression
  • academic advancement
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • data interpretation
  • employment sector
  • career-oriented steps
What to do next:
Look at other essays: