Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that the main reason for
schools
is making students
good citizens
and workers
. They claim that the schools
are the best places where the children will be grown up as well-educated and socialized citizens
and workers
. I support this
idea because schools
help students
become more mature citizens
.
Despite the fact that schools
have many roles, educational institutions provide the government with agreeable citizens
who conform with
the government’s tasks. The government of each Change preposition
to
country
needs community members who cooperate with official organizations without conflicts in order to perform governments'
tasks. For Change noun form
governments
this
reason, since schools
are established for public benefits, schools
are the best place where governments offer students
educations
tailored Fix the agreement mistake
education
with
governments’ tastes. Change preposition
to
For example
, North
Correct article usage
the North
Korea
regime is always brainwashing their children Correct your spelling
Korean
on
the Change preposition
in
education
institutions to make them be grown up to be Replace the word
educational
citizens
who are agreeable to North
Correct article usage
the North
Korea
government’s policies.
Another reason is that Correct your spelling
Korean
schools
produce particular labour that the country
needs. Each country
struggle with lack
of some particular type of highly-trained labours Correct article usage
a lack
such
as health care, IT and atomic engineering. Since schools
are the places where massive
number of Change the article
a massive
the massive
students
are taught by just a few of
competent educators, Change preposition
apply
schools
cultivates
pupils with Change the verb form
cultivate
these kind
of advanced skills and Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
provides
them with Change the verb form
provide
country
as highly-trained Add an article
the country
a country
workers
efficiently. For instance
, Canada decides to support financial aids
to the educational institutions in medical parts and promotes their medical policies that the wage of medical labours will be increased by 20 Fix the agreement mistake
aid
percent
to tackle the lack of supply of medical Change the spelling
per cent
workers
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that educational organizations is
responsible for not only Change the verb form
are
growing
children tailored with governmentsChange preposition
for growing
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
high quality
human resources to society.Add a hyphen
high-quality
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite