3. Some people think that it should be mandatory for student to perform unpaid community service to graduate

5.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Nowadays,

Many

Fix capitalization

many

show examples

people

Use synonyms

suggest that social

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cleaning

Add an article

the garden

show examples

garden

Fix the agreement mistake

gardens

show examples

and teaching younger

people

Use synonyms

should

be include

Change the verb form

be included

show examples

to study courses. While some other think

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

this activity

these activities

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

may make some student feels

stresses

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

. From my point of view, I agree with the latter view. In the following paragraphs, the reason to support my opinion will be discussed in detail.

Body paragraph 1

Initially

Linking Words

, unpaid community service has many advantages. It

promote

Change the verb form

promotes

show examples

social skills

for instance

Linking Words

communication skill and time management skill. Because

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

have to communicate with many

people

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

It enhances

self-confident

Replace the word

self-confidence

show examples

when

pupil

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils

show examples

Change the verb form

does

show examples

volunteering

Wrong verb form

volunteer

show examples

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

singing for

donate

Replace the word

donations

show examples

and teaching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

poor children.

The society

Correct article usage

Society

show examples

will gain a lot of

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

from

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Putting social

activities

Use synonyms

in study courses may cause more

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

than

Add an article

an advantage

show examples

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

. Because the student

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

main duties to do

such

Linking Words

as doing homework,

examine

Wrong verb form

examining

show examples

and

studying

Change the form of the verb

study

show examples

. After

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

it will reduce their energy by doing

this

Linking Words

program.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

they do not have time to find what they

actually

Add a missing verb

are actually

show examples

interest

Wrong verb form

interested

show examples

that

Change preposition

in that

show examples

important

Add a missing verb

is important

show examples

for their future. Another reason is the government should responsible for their real duties

that is

Linking Words

provide

Fix the infinitive

to provide

show examples

facilities to

people

Use synonyms

who really need

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

and manage our societies better or support social

activities

Use synonyms

by making

the

Correct article usage

show examples

campaign for persuading

people

Use synonyms

who really want to do

this

Linking Words

Conclusion

In conclusion, unpaid community service should not be a graduation requirement.

Although

Linking Words

promote

Change the verb form

promotes

show examples

many skills for student, it

reduce

Change the verb form

reduces

show examples

time and energy for them. So it

suitable

Add a missing verb

is suitable

show examples

for

people

Use synonyms

who actually want to do it. And the government should be

Change the article

the

show examples

main part to support

this

Linking Words

project.

r.pattaa

Jul 17, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some think that only those people who have worked for a company for many years should be promoted to a higher position. Do you agree?
There is an opinion that primarily staff members who have dedicated many years to working for a particular company should be given executive positions in a company. I disagree with this viewpoint in as much as younger workers may have more skills and if not provided with an opportunity for a promotion, they will become demotivated.
6.5
band
At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
As can be seen, nowadays adults comprise a vast majority of the population compared to the elderly in many regions, which has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. In the upcoming paragraphs, both sides of this trend will be discussed.
7
band
Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
Throughout the years, we have barely seen some species of animals because their existence has been critically threatened due to illegal hunting by irresponsible people. As a consequence, they become extinct and eventually vanish from their habitat. To solve this problem, the government should enact a clear regulation which contains some strict punishment to those who deliberately hunt endangered animals. A further explanation of my opinion will be presented below.
7
band
These days, it is becoming increasingly popular for people to live in another country for either work or their studies. While many people can find greater opportunities abroad, others may struggle to adapt. What are the advantages of living in a foreign country and what are the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there are people who have migrated to a foreign country they are even unable to communicate with locals in that country. This phenomenon prompted a heated topic in society. Some commentators believe that moving to a new country may have more disadvantages such as feelings of isolation and a language barrier. However, others may find more benefits such as improving their quality of life and increasing their employability. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion on this topic.
7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.
It is said that removing non-academic subjects from the school syllabus is essential to enhance pupil focus on the academic curriculum. This essay strongly disagrees with the statement mentioned above, For two main reasons. Firstly, introduced entertainment subjects to the curriculum such as cooking or exercise, assessing them to reduce the stress of studying. Secondly, discover the passions or skills the children have.

3. Some people think that it should be mandatory for student to perform unpaid community service to graduate

Some think that only those people who have worked for a company for many years should be promoted to a higher position. Do you agree?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

These days, it is becoming increasingly popular for people to live in another country for either work or their studies. While many people can find greater opportunities abroad, others may struggle to adapt. What are the advantages of living in a foreign country and what are the disadvantages?