Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #source #happiness

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In the contemporary epoch,

whlist

Correct your spelling

whilst

proponents hold the view that doing only things that they are familiar with, opponents and I have

Correct your spelling

a diverse

diverse

adiverse

Correct your spelling

diverse

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

However

Linking Words

, my contention will be

farther

Correct your spelling

further

show examples

explained. On the one hand, trying new

foods

Use synonyms

or visiting new places sounds very enjoyable.

For example

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

spend their vacation in a different country every year, They think discovering new places and new cultures

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

enjoyable.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

,Also

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they do not hesitate to try unique

foods

Use synonyms

like rabbit leg or duck. They say that these kind of

foods

Use synonyms

are interesting and extends my knowledge.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

especially those who have different kinds of preferences do not prefer to go to new places and try new

foods

Use synonyms

. They feel safe when they repeat the action that they always like. In

this

Linking Words

behaviour, there is no chance to dislike.

For example

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

make reservations in the same hotel that they had stayed in every year. They say that we do not want to take the risk of dissatisfaction with the new one.

Also

Linking Words

, some

foods

Use synonyms

do not fit everyone in different aspects. Some

people

Use synonyms

suffer from food allergies and high blood pressure. Because of ,

this

Linking Words

they feel confident when they stick with the same diet. In conclusion, after the essay has manifested the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

points, it can be reiterated that trying to do new things is quite enjoyable.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is believed that everyone

Change the verb form

has

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have

Add the particle

tohave

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try

Wrong verb form

tried

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new things to

everytime

Replace the word

every time

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find

Change the verb form

finds

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a chance to do them.

Submitted by musab.private92 on Sun Jul 17 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restriction on what they do To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think individuals are more and more dependent on each other. Some people think individuals are more and more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion