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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The increasing demand for oil and gas has made it necessary to look for these energy sources in remote and untouched natural places. Do you think the advantages of locating oil and gas in these areas outweigh the disadvantages of damaging these places?

#demand #oil #gas #energy #sources #places #areas
As the demands for
fossile
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuel and
gas
 are incredibly increasing, experts start to calculate the profit and loss for pioneering energy sources. Some experts
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that there is no advantage to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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 the resources because the transporting fees are heavily expensive. Other people claim that there are hordes of profits if there are
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
 amount of natural fule. I support
this
 idea and
this
 essay will insist on why I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 the idea.
First
 of all, there are more likely tons of
oil
 and
gas
 in distance and unknown places. Massive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of fossil fuels
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 likely to be buried in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lands
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
far away from civilized cities. And some countries don't
Correct your spelling
possess
posess
Correct your spelling
possess
 any of them in their area. So, even if
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 countries pay
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money for the delivery fees, they are always trying to import the natural
fules
Correct your spelling
fuels
files
 because the profits absolutely outweigh the amount of transportation fee.
For example
, in order for Germany to import
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
gas
 from Russia, Germany is willing to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the installation fee for the natural
gas
 pipeline under the ocean.
Moreover
, South Korea
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 doesn't have
oil
 always pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the transportation fee.
In addition
, the investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 extracting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
 and
gas
 are increasing. The natural resources tend to be in the deel level of
land
Add an article
the land
show examples
, so advanced technologies are
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
nessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to pump it out to the human world.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, the investment for taking the raw resources from the corporation will be risen up.
Moreover
, since human powers are vital factors to operate the extracting machines, the boundary of
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 is naturally formed.
For instance
, the
city
 Doha in Katar is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
city
 formed by
oil
 money. The government of Katar advertise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tons of
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corporation all over the globe, and Doha
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has nothing but the desert becomes one of the richest
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 in the world. In conclusion, despite the fact that some people agree that there are no benefits to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 the raw energies in the
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 district, I believe finding the fossil
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
far places
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more beneficial.
Submitted by seongmin.kim082 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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