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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it is essential to spend much money on a wedding ‎celebration, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.‎

#people #money #‎celebration
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The wedding
celebration
Use synonyms
 tradition is very old.
Therefore
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, for many people are absolutely important to make everything right and spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 for the event.
However
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, others disagree with
such
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approach
Correct article usage
an approach
show examples
 and want to do it in
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
 way. I will discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
points of view and give my opinion in the paragraphs to follow. From one point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage is considered to be a memorable moment for everybody. Traditionally,
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 of the
celebration
Use synonyms
 strictly
depending
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
 on the married
couple
Change noun form
couple's
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 family’s status. Expenses like buying household items, clothes, hosting a place to perform and more others were mandatory. Of course, It varies from generation to generation and from nation to nation, but it becomes common and significant all over the world.
That is
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 why many of us suppose that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on a wedding is essential.
On the other hand
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, some pairs become so obsessive
of
Change preposition
about
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idea
Add an article
the idea
an idea
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 of the perfect
celebration
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, that forget about the main topic of
such
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event
Correct article usage
an event
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 – love.
For example
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, many couples get a loan from the bank for the wedding ceremony, because it costs
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
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, following the traditions can bring additional problems for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
just married people. Thereby, many of us, and
first
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 of all the new generation, think that spending a lot
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the celebration
a celebration
show examples
celebration
Replace the word
celebrating
show examples
 is useless. To sum up, I want to share my opinion. Personally, I believe that traditions are still important in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society, but
instead
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 of blind following
of
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apply
show examples
the old
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, we can create new,
that
Correct pronoun usage
ones that
show examples
 better fit our current needs. And if you still want to spend
money
Use synonyms
,
donation
Add an article
a donation
the donation
show examples
 would be
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 way to do
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by vs on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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