Nowadays, more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be reason for this? what would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason

Nowadays

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show examples

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

occasions

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of occasions

show examples

, individuals are working in the same job despite

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apply

show examples

their

age

or gender.

This

essay argues about

causes

Correct article usage

the causes

show examples

of working in

mix

Replace the word

mixed

show examples

ages.

Although

, it finds some possible

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

this

statement On the one hand, there are some reasons of elder individuals are working despite their

age

.The most common one is avoiding

to be

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being

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retired or

to lose

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losing

show examples

physical

prodoctivity

Correct your spelling

productivity

. Some seniors really desire to work enjoyably, as they have more life and career experience.

Furthmore

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Furthermore

, due to the economics, the prices of daily needs,

such

as food,

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

,medicines are rising significantly.

Therefore

, some single pensioners make money for living,

instead

of appreciating

their

Change the word

the

show examples

rest of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

life.

For instance

, some seniors would like to support their family by working or even paying off a mortgage or other debt.

On the other hand

, work in older

age

may have an impact on senior`s

health

, while there are some solutions for

this

issue.

Firstly

, the

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should pay

partucular

Correct your spelling

particular

attention to elder people, as with financial aid. If the

Correct your spelling

government

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

split the responsibility of

health

care and food consumption,the number of golden-agers, who have an occupation, will eventually decrease. To sum up, the frequent cause of earning at

older

Add an article

an older

show examples

age

is making money for living, while it can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their

health

However

Add the comma(s)

,However

show examples

this

can be solved by the help of authorities, paying them more taxes, taking

health

care of retirees.

Submitted by ominam29 on Mon Jul 18 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be reason for this? what would you suggest as a solution?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries now face an economic downturn, so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.