People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

Many
people
hold a view that residents in many countries, special the developed countries have less
time
for their families than many gen before. In
this
essay, I will discuss the causes of
this
issue and propose solutions to tackle it. There are several origins that lead to
this
tendency.
Firstly
, more
work
in the office makes them have no
time
for close relationships.
This
means, our society
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
and more developed and the demands of humans raise in the overview that leading to the matter is the employee
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to
work
more and more to serve the needs of society. Take a good example of it is China, which country climb
fastest
Correct article usage
the fastest
show examples
in
economy's
Change noun form
economy
show examples
world. and
then
the Chineses have to
work
very hard to respond to the public.
As a result
, in 2 recent years, 2020 and 2021, the rate of birth diminish tremendously compared with 4 recent decades.
Moreover
, many
people
have leisure
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and have a day off but
instead
of spending
time
with their family, they usually use it for many recreation devices like a
smaetphone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
, Nintendo,
PSP
Correct word choice
or PSP
show examples
3.
However
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
some practical solutions to alleviate these problems.One of the most viable ones is that the state and many cooperations need to release the policy to solve
this
problem and encourage their staff to use their days off for family.
In addition
, each other
also
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
to balance our
time
between
work
and family. For many families, the children always need the caress of their parents, so spending leisure space with children is necessary. That makes them grow in love and know the love and sense between
people
to
people
.
For example
, Angelina Jolie, a well-known actress on
this
global,
besides
the greatest actress
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
also
a great mother of six kids. She is good at in balance
time
for acting and her children. To conclude, I suppose the cause of
this
phenomenon is that communities in many nations care less for family. In order to tackle these issues, I think each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
needs to
learn
Add the particle
tolearn
show examples
balance
your
Correct pronoun usage
her
show examples
life
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
many close relationships.
Submitted by vihoaithichngu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • predominant
  • commitments
  • imbalance
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • globalization
  • weakened
  • disconnected
  • strain
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • developmental issues
  • behavioral problems
  • parental guidance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: