IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

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Improvements in
health
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,
education
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 and trade are essential for the development of poorer
nations
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.
However
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, the governments of wealthier
countries
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 should take more responsibility for helping the underdeveloped
nations
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 in
such
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 areas. Developing and Industrialised
countries
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 have divided today’s world, where the main difference between them is the amount of money that governments apply
in
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to
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 vital sectors
such
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 as
education
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,
health
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 and commerce. Because of unbalanced finance, most of the poorer
countries
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buried
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are buried
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 in debts, which reflects in reduced
health
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 care, an unstructured
education
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 system and weak international trade.
This
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 vicious cycle will continue indefinitely unless wealthier
nations
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 show interest in minimising the worldwide economic differences, as well as taking more responsibility for assisting less fortunate
countries
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. Most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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African
countries
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 live in inhuman conditions because of
the
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apply
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extreme poverty, upheaval, hunger, disease, unemployment, lack of
education
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 and both inexperienced and corrupt administrations. The devastating consequences of the AIDS epidemic in those
countries
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 could improve if the infected population were to receive free drugs to control the disease, have access to
health
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 professionals and get information on how to prevent its spread. But
this
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 can only be achieved through international help programs in which leaders of the world’s wealthiest
countries
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 donate medicine and send doctors and nurses to treat and educate those in need.
Moreover
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, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
countries
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 rely on selling agricultural products and raw materials to rich
nations
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 and buying industrialised products from them, resulting in a substantial financial deficit.
Consequently
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, they borrow a significant amount of money from the World Bank to try to improve their broken economies, but sometimes the money disappears with no significant changes, and they cannot even pay the interest to the bank. Regarding
this
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 issue, the G8, comprised of leaders of the eight most prosperous
nations
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, decided to forgive billions of
dollars’
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dollars
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 worth of debt owed by the world’s poorest
nations
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.
Besides
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, they developed adequate loan programs to assist those
countries
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 financially. In conclusion, leaders of the industrialised
countries
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 play an indispensable role in assisting developing
nations
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 in dealing with essential areas
such
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 as
health
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,
education
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 and trade.
Also
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, their aid is the key to breaking the vicious cycle, which results in poverty and death.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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