IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

#say #countries #food #education
Improvements in
health
,
education
 and trade are essential for the development of poorer
nations
.
However
, the governments of wealthier
countries
 should take more responsibility for helping the underdeveloped
nations
 in
such
 areas. Developing and Industrialised
countries
 have divided today’s world, where the main difference between them is the amount of money that governments apply
in
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to
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 vital sectors
such
 as
education
,
health
 and commerce. Because of unbalanced finance, most of the poorer
countries
buried
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are buried
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 in debts, which reflects in reduced
health
 care, an unstructured
education
 system and weak international trade.
This
 vicious cycle will continue indefinitely unless wealthier
nations
 show interest in minimising the worldwide economic differences, as well as taking more responsibility for assisting less fortunate
countries
. Most
of
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apply
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the
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African
countries
 live in inhuman conditions because of
the
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apply
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extreme poverty, upheaval, hunger, disease, unemployment, lack of
education
 and both inexperienced and corrupt administrations. The devastating consequences of the AIDS epidemic in those
countries
 could improve if the infected population were to receive free drugs to control the disease, have access to
health
 professionals and get information on how to prevent its spread. But
this
 can only be achieved through international help programs in which leaders of the world’s wealthiest
countries
 donate medicine and send doctors and nurses to treat and educate those in need.
Moreover
, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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developing
countries
 rely on selling agricultural products and raw materials to rich
nations
 and buying industrialised products from them, resulting in a substantial financial deficit.
Consequently
, they borrow a significant amount of money from the World Bank to try to improve their broken economies, but sometimes the money disappears with no significant changes, and they cannot even pay the interest to the bank. Regarding
this
 issue, the G8, comprised of leaders of the eight most prosperous
nations
, decided to forgive billions of
dollars’
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dollars
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 worth of debt owed by the world’s poorest
nations
.
Besides
, they developed adequate loan programs to assist those
countries
 financially. In conclusion, leaders of the industrialised
countries
 play an indispensable role in assisting developing
nations
 in dealing with essential areas
such
 as
health
,
education
 and trade.
Also
, their aid is the key to breaking the vicious cycle, which results in poverty and death.
Submitted by anil_dabhicp on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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