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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people thinks computer games have negative impacts on children.To what extent do you agreee or disagree ?

#people #computer #games #impacts #children #agreee
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In these recent days and ,ages younger ones used to prefer electronic
games
Use synonyms
 rather than outdoor play .Several
individuals
Use synonyms
 are at the notion that it can lead to a detrimental effect on pupils .I see an eye-to-eye notion with
this
Linking Words
 perspective .My inclination is justified
further
Linking Words
 along with suitable examples . Playing video
games
Use synonyms
 for a longer duration can cause a harmful scenario.To commence with,devastating health problems may arise through it .
That is
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 , long-term exposure to screens can weaken eye muscles yet loss vision capacity .
For instance
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 ,children who used to spend hours on screen are prone to get eye disorders
such
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 as hypermetropia which is to be corrected by wearing eyeglasses.
Furthermore
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, it may affect a child's behaviour too .
That is
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 ,social withdrawal from the peer group as well as family members
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 self-centred.
Therefore
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 , younger ones would be lacking a sense of cooperation and teamwork abilities .
Additionally
Linking Words
, prolonged sitting while playing
games
Use synonyms
 can induce juvenile diabetes .The reason is sedentary lifestyle accumulates carbohydrates in our body and leads to various endocrine disorders .
For example
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 , a recent survey shows rates of juvenile diabetes are surging due to less physical activity among pupils.
However
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,playing electronic
games
Use synonyms
 helps sophomores to widen their thinking ability .
This
Linking Words
 is to state that a sundry of
games
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helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
individuals
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 to think or prepare themselves for the
next
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 stage .
This
Linking Words
 would help to boost their intelligence level by widening their horizons.
Although
Linking Words
 concentration level might be inclining.A plethora of activities requires a great concentration level in order to succeed in a game . In conclusion ,electronic
games
Use synonyms
 are a surging preference over outdoor activities .Even though ,it helps to boost concentration levels and widen
individuals
Use synonyms
 thinking capacity yet ;it can cause a deleterious impact on younger ones' health
such
Linking Words
 as diminished visual acuity ,endocrine disorders as well as withdrawal from social groups.
Submitted by patelhardika21 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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