IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #science #park #summarise #information #features #comparisons
There are two maps,
one
 of which illustrates how the science
park
 was back in 2008,
however
, the other
one
 displays the upgraded plan of the science
park
.
Overall
, some easily visible upgrades are the utilisation of both grasslands by a new addition of a Research and development section, and the expansion of the current
Cyber
security
 department. In 2008, there was a
car
park
 at
Add an article
the center
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the map, which had connecting paths with the business units and the
Cyber
security
 section.
Secondly
, the woodland area was on the southwest
side
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
car
park
, which
also
 had an IT
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 nearby.
One
 of the grasslands,
moreover
, was on the right
side
 of the
car
park
, and another
one
 was on the northwest
side
, which had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offices and reception areas nearby. At present, the business units, offices, and woodland areas are untouched.
However
, the
car
park
 size has been reduced
while
 the
Cyber
security
 section has been expanded from the north
side
 by replacing the grassland without damaging the woodland area. The reception area is now replaced with the University hub
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and IT
Center
 to
Innovation
Correct article usage
the Innovation
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Additionally
, now, the roads have a cycle path along the
side
 of
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
,
one
 bus stop added at
one
 inter-junction of the road, and a new railway station has been established between the Innovation
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and the
Cyber
security
 department.
Submitted by Ishaan433 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words one, park, cyber, security, car, center, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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