IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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There are two maps,
one
Use synonyms
 of which illustrates how the science
park
Use synonyms
 was back in 2008,
however
Linking Words
, the other
one
Use synonyms
 displays the upgraded plan of the science
park
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, some easily visible upgrades are the utilisation of both grasslands by a new addition of a Research and development section, and the expansion of the current
Cyber
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 department. In 2008, there was a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
Add an article
the center
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of the map, which had connecting paths with the business units and the
Cyber
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 section.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the woodland area was on the southwest
side
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
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 the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, which
also
Linking Words
 had an IT
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 nearby.
One
Use synonyms
 of the grasslands,
moreover
Linking Words
, was on the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, and another
one
Use synonyms
 was on the northwest
side
Use synonyms
, which had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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offices and reception areas nearby. At present, the business units, offices, and woodland areas are untouched.
However
Linking Words
, the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 size has been reduced
while
Linking Words
 the
Cyber
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 section has been expanded from the north
side
Use synonyms
 by replacing the grassland without damaging the woodland area. The reception area is now replaced with the University hub
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and IT
Center
Use synonyms
 to
Innovation
Correct article usage
the Innovation
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, now, the roads have a cycle path along the
side
Use synonyms
 of
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
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,
one
Use synonyms
 bus stop added at
one
Use synonyms
 inter-junction of the road, and a new railway station has been established between the Innovation
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and the
Cyber
Use synonyms
security
Use synonyms
 department.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words one, park, cyber, security, car, center, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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