IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that girls should take husband’s name after marriage while others feel that they should not follow this age old tradition. What is your opinion?

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From past to present, in some countries ,heritage husband's name continues to be controversial, there are two valid opinions on both sides, which will
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, it is agreed that the
last
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 name of wives should be the same as their husbands. As a matter of fact, it is normal for some nations,
due to
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 it being a traditional process. In their eyes, the family likes being one, not separated.
Also
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, in some ,countries it can be seen that based on regulations they need to
change
Use synonyms
 it,
for instance
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, in England when people want to rent a house they should have the same family label. So, international people face problems in these nations.
On the other hand
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, people opposed to
this
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 old tradition feel that they should live with their own surname, which has heritage from their ancestors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they believe that the family label is
shown
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 their roots
az
Correct your spelling
as
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 a result of that, they want to
change
Use synonyms
 the rules.
Not to mention
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, In recent years in
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
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 and 21st centuries, a large number of feminist movements happened so women want to be like men and
change
Use synonyms
 their families because they are married
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 cancelled by the government. Some of them believe that it is a small movement, but if it
will happen
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
 they can do more regarding women's rights. In conclusion, from my point of view, based on some changes in terms of human rights , it is the best time to substitute erstwhile rules. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 subject, most women prefer to not
change
Use synonyms
 their past and their surname when they
married
Wrong verb form
marry
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. The essay lacks a clear and well-organized argument. It should be structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are underdeveloped. The essay should provide a more comprehensive introduction and a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and closes the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay partly responds to the task, but the argument is not consistently clear and comprehensive. The essay should thoroughly address both sides of the argument and provide a well-supported opinion based on the analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Maiden name
  • Patriarchal
  • Familial unity
  • Cultural customs
  • Identity
  • Independence
  • Gender equality
  • Subjugate
  • Outdated practice
  • Hyphenation
  • Professional brand
  • Social significance
What to do next:
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