Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that living in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century
is make lives simple. While some
people
believe
people
experiencing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the 21st
century
have a better
life
standard than
people
who lived in former times others argue
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
opposite. From my perspective, 21st have a better
life
quality and
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a bad standards
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad standard
bad standards
show examples
.
Firstly
, in
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
21st
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
century
capital towns , streets and like that places have too much noise and
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
crowded.
This
happens because there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
in the towns which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives .Because of
this
streets are very narrow and can not have a sufficient place for
people
. To illustrate,
people
do not
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
go outside and
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
with their friends .When they do that they will have a headache and
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause some sickness.
Secondly
, one of the benefits of living in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century
is
development
Add an article
the development
a development
show examples
of technology. There has been a very
improvements
Correct the article-noun agreement
improvement
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology.
People
can get news of everything immediately .
For instance
, if someone
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
know what happened today he or she just
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to use a mobile phone to know it.
As a result
of
such
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
improvements like that our
life
gets simple and we had a better
life
standard. All in all , taking the afore-mentioned point into account, it can be concluded that
although
there are some
people
who
saying
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
people
living in the 21st
century
have a better
life
standard than
people
who lived in previous time are purely negative, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
some good
life
qualities and
also
there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
bad standards in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century
.
Submitted by mertakin40 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulations
  • accountability
  • retailers
  • public health
  • consumer choice
  • diet
  • banning
  • health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • economic impact
  • job losses
  • small businesses
  • complexity
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • quantity consumed
  • individual health conditions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: