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Band 5.5

In a number of companies, some people think it is necessry to spend larg sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transportation. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Many people believed that spending
money
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 should focus on constructing fast and high-technological railway lines transferring between regions throughout the country.
On the other hand
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, some opinions support the idea that public
transportation
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 should be more attended to be enhanced. To my opinion, despite that both are necessary, the fast trains may take the higher in-needed position. The major reason is moving between different regions or cities may take more time and effort than in a particular locality. To cut down the citizens'
money
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 and time burden, it is necessary for the government to pay more attention to developing cutting-edge
transportation
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 systems. The spare time and
money
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 which is cut off by modernization allow people to be able to be involved in more and more activities, including enhancing their efficiency especially in work, or even in their personal lives.
Secondly
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, it is not meaning that public
transportation
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 should be abandoned,
however
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, in our modern life, it is normal for everyone to own personal cars. And with short-distance trips, people tend to use their cars over public transit, leading to the consumption of
this
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 type of
transportation
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 is not very high.
Therefore
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, public
transportation
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's investment is not as essential as railway lines. To conclude, both the two referred systems are needed to be invested in and strengthened in the long term.
However
Linking Words
, since the development of long-distance railways is more related to the general development of the community, it should be more focused and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 more
money
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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