IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future
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The question of a child's future is extremely important for parents and some of them think that schools should give knowledge of basic things,
on the contrary
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, others think having a large number of subjects is better. In my point of view, useful skills should
combine
Wrong verb form
be combined
show examples
 with a range of subjects. Several skills that we are learning in school will be often used in our future life without parents. It's extra influent to gain an understanding of how things work and how you should operate with them in school.
For example
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, I had a lesson in my educational institution where we were taught how to write a police complaint. After some time, my phone was stolen,
as a result
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,
a
Correct pronoun usage
I
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 wrote a complaint and
the
Change the word
my
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 adeptness
of
Change preposition
at
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 writing them helped me.
On the other hand
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, a range of subjects could give a better quality of career. When a person knows only 2-3 themes it is difficult to understand alternative topics and be good at them,
therefore
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, having a span of themes will help to be a professional.
For instance
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, if one person
knew
Wrong verb form
knows
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 more aspects than another, he will have more chances
to be
Change preposition
of being
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 accepted for the job he submitted
to
Change preposition
apply
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. Humans should understand what they really need to study for the future.
To conclude
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, it will be superior for the child's job and career prospectives to study several skills in a school,
nevertheless
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, parents should have a talk with their kid about topics
kid
Correct article usage
the kid
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 wants to study for the coming time.
Submitted by naucom2 on

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task response
The essay presents some relevant points but lacks clear development and organization. Make sure to address and develop all parts of the prompt in a more organized manner.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the overall coherence and organization could be improved. Structure your essay to clearly present your ideas and support them in a logical manner.
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