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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Zoos are inhumane and pointless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#zoos
Nowadays, many people opine constructing animal gardens is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way
for
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of
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wasting money and time, while others argue
with
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apply
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and allege that zoos are essential for each community as a source of human knowledge to learn
with
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about
show examples
 dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature, increasing a sense of creation, so, I completely disagree with
this
 statement that presumes the wild gardens are not useful, so, I am going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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both
beneficials
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beneficial
 and drawbacks of
this
 idea to confirm my status. In a beginning,there are many species of animals that are going to vanish from the planet,
for example
,
asian
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Asian
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 tigers have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased in
numbers
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number
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 of birth, due to
this
 phenomenon,
blue birds
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bluebirds
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 have shown a reduction,
however
, the relationship of
this
 event has not understood yet, but, there is a coefficient,
in addition
 of, all knew that
blue birds
Correct your spelling
bluebirds
show examples
 are very important for human life as food resources, so, scientists have been designed a garden that it is suitable for protecting tigers.
Second
,children must learn from the wildlife that
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 considered as a most important part to deal with the environment,alongside,many inventors inspired
from
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by
show examples
 animals to build
a
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the
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 machine, so, zoos may be
an undangerous locations
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an undangerous location
undangerous locations
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 for
familarizing
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familiarizing
 kids,
for example
,
Add an article
the airplane
an airplane
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airplane
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aeroplane
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 has constructed based on eagle's wings.
In
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To
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 sum up, wild gardens have many benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
such
 as the source of inspiration,supplying human
foods
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food
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 and educating to youngers that how they can be used and
Correct your spelling
dealt
dealed
Correct your spelling
deal
 with the planet, so, governments must invest
on
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in
show examples
 building these places.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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