There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country is more important than international music?

#music #world #country

"Life is like the ocean; it goes up and down."

Therefore

, we need to be more concerned about maintaining a balanced life. In my view,

music

is the golden therapy for

overcome

Change the verb form

overcoming

show examples

these problems. There are various kinds of

music

all over the world. It

linked

Add a missing verb

is linked

show examples

with culture, tradition,

religion

Correct word choice

and religion

show examples

. Apart from that,

rhythm

Add an article

the rhythm

show examples

of the

music

is varying from country to country.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

essay will discuss the significance of traditional

music

over international

music

based on experience. Listening to

music

gives relaxation to the mind and body.,

Moreover

, it is used by people to uplift their moods and break the monotony of their daily routines.

On the other hand

music

is the best medicine .

For example

, in 1998, a study was conducted in India on heat patients who listened to

music

on a daily basis versus those who did not. results show that listening to

music

reduces heart risk compared to not listening to

music

Music

is a universal language; it doesn’t depend on age, skin

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

, nationality, education level, or any other limitations.

Therefore

, people all over the world accept any kind of rhythm they like.

As a result

this

, international

music

is becoming more popular among

melophiles

Correct your spelling

mesophiles

paedophiles

. Pop, jazz,

hip-pop

Correct word choice

and hip-pop

show examples

are the most popular international

music

among them. Conventional

music

holds more value than international

music

. Because traditional

music

gives knowledge of its own culture and heritage, and lyrics show the story behind every single word

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

For example

: (In

srilanka

Change the capitalization

Srilanka

show examples

) “

prashasthi

Correct your spelling

Prashanth

” ,“

wannam

Correct your spelling

wanna

”,

“ naadagam

Correct word choice

and “ naadagam

show examples

“ songs are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous . In conclusion, my perception goes that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional

music

is more valuable than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

music

. Because it can represent the nationality of the country.

Submitted by natha92714 on Sat Jul 23 2022

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

282 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country is more important than international music?

Your opinion

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Supermarkets shoul only sell food produced within their own country. What are your opinions about it.

Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old house style in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own styles. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Risks taking are important in ones life. Do you think the benefits outweight the drawbacks?